It Won't Come Out
by Chappy-the-Bunny
Summary: Eren is having trouble using the bathroom, so Corporal Levi decides to step in and take action.


**It Won't Come Out**

"Say, Hanji," Corporal Levi spoke, grabbing the female's attention as she had walked past him, "do you know where Eren is?"

"Eren?" she repeated. "Last I saw of him, I think he was heading towards the water closet. That was nearly an hour ago, though..."

"I see. Thank you, I suppose."

Hanji's eyes widened, and she asked, "Wait, you don't think he's still in there, do you?"

"I intend on finding that out."

With that being said, Corporal Levi changed his course of direction and set off in the opposite way, heading swiftly towards the water closet. It was only a short distance, and once he had arrived, he rapped his fist heavily on the closed door, and asked, "Eren, are you in there?"

For a moment, there was no response. Just when the Corporal was about to open his mouth and demand an answer from the young soldier, he heard him gently murmur, "...Yeah, I am."

"What are you doing in there? Hanji told me you've been occupying that closet for almost an hour."

"Yeah, I..." Eren began, but his voice had ended up hesitating.

"You _what_, Eren?"

There was the muffled sound of plumbing pipes and hands sloshing about in water, before Eren had emerged from the water closet. Something in the boy's face told Corporal Levi that he had been straining himself.

"It...wouldn't come out, sir," Eren whispered. He slapped his hands over his face very bashfully, before quietly adding, "And now my stomach really hurts..."

For a moment, the Corporal couldn't do more than just stare at him. Was Eren trying to tell him that, for the past hour, he had desperately been trying his very best to take a dump? The Corporal wouldn't be having any of that.

"Come with me, Eren," Corporal Levi ordered. He didn't even bother waiting for him; the Corporal began walking away the second he had spoke his demand.

* * *

"Um...sir?" Eren asked nervously. "Why am I laying down like this?" Currently, he was flat on his back upon the dining table's surface with his arms and legs spread out like the spokes of a star.

"For a multitude of reasons. Now stay still," Corporal Levi instructed. Without warning, he reached forward and firmly pressed his hands down onto Eren's lower abdomen. This had caused the adolescent to yelp.

"Corporal Levi! That hurts! What are you doing?!"

The Corporal's response had been all too serious. "Trying to push the crap out of you."

"I don't think that's how it works! Please stop!"

"Fine. Is it better like this?" Oddly enough, it was almost as if the Corporal's hands had two, alternating options: the first being what Eren had just experienced, 100% uncensored force, and the second being the nothing less than the touch of an angel. His hands had begun to carefully massage Eren's lower belly, pushing into his gut and pressing in all the right places.

"That..." Eren whispered, "...that actually feels really nice."

It was no time for the young soldier to be getting nostalgic, but with such a _motherly_ display of affection, Eren couldn't help himself from remembering how his mother would carefully rub his tummy each and every time he had whined to her about having a stomach ache. Eren had been so far lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized that the Corporal had left his side, only for it to become apparent when he had noted his reappearance with a cup one hand and a face towel in the other.

"Wipe your face and drink this," Corporal Levi commanded, and it wasn't until Eren accepted the face towel first that he noticed he had been crying.

"Crap, that's embarrassing," he scoffed, quickly rubbing his eyes and wiping at his cheeks.

"I think we're far past the embarrassing stage, Eren," Corporal Levi sighed. "I was just massaging your stomach, because you can't take a crap."

"Heh...yeah, I guess you're right." Curiously, Eren eyed the cup that was in the Corporal's hand, and asked, "What's that? Is it tea?"

"No," Corporal Levi stated. He gave the cup to Eren, and said, "It'll help you."

Unsure of the strange and gooey-looking liquid, Eren gave the solution a quick whiff to make sure that it was safe. He immediately felt like he was going to vomit. "No! There is no way I'm drinking that!"

"You _will_ drink it," Corporal Levi glowered, "or else I'll bring Hanji in here to run a few experiments on that stubborn large intestine of yours."

With three strong gulps, the mystery drink was gone from the cup and on its way down into Eren's belly.

"Good. Now we wait."

Somehow, Eren was too scared to ask what he would be waiting for.

* * *

"Say, Hanji, have you seen Eren?" Corporal Levi wondered.

Terribly confused, Hanji questioned, "Huh? Didn't you ask me that just this morning? Has Eren gone missing, or something?"

"No, he's not missing," the Corporal affirmed. "I simply made him drink one of the testing concoctions that you give to your experimentation subjects for consumption, and now I can't find him."

"You did _**what**_-?!" Hanji shouted. "For the love of-" Grabbing Corporal Levi's shoulders, she shook them for emphasis as she shrieked, "Eren would be lucky enough if he's not lying around **dead** somewhere!"

"Oh," the Corporal nodded. "Oops."

* * *

_Meanwhile_

* * *

In the water closet, Eren felt close to crying tears of blood as he held onto the sides of the toilet as if it were for dear life. "I just wanted it to come out normally!" he moaned desperately. "Why am I being tortured like this?! Just please! Make it stop!"

In the end, Eren had been brutally forced from one extreme to the other.

* * *

_Hi there! Chappy here! :D_

_Oh gosh, this was an idea that I've had floating around in my head for quite a while now, and somehow, with all of the angst that the fandom is feeling right now, I felt that it would be a good time to write it out and publish it._

_I really hope that this has cheered you guys up a bit! (:_

_Thank you for taking the time to read!_

_- Chappy_


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